STATE OF ARKANSAS
(learned from Tom Juster in about 1963)
My name it is Tom Juster, I come from Berkeley town.
I was loafing in St. Louie with five dollars and no more,
Well, I landed in the depot, I inhaled a bottle of gin,
He fed me on corn dodger, his meat I couldn't chaw,
He set me out a mattress as hard as any rock,
His wife she was a boxcar, her teeth they was a hoe,
I walked into a saloon, I inhaled a bottle of rye,
I'm goin' to Indian territory, gonna marry me a squaw,
(from miriam berg's folksong collection)
I've travelled this wide world over, I've travelled this wide world round.
I've seen some ups and downs in life, some turrible things I've saw,
But I never knew what misery was 'til I come to Arkansas (ar-kan-saw).
I read the morning papers until my eyes was sore,
I read the evening papers, until at last I saw
That a hundred men was wanted for work in Arkansas.
Along come a walkin' skeleton by the name of Thomas Flynn,
His ears was big, his nose was large, his hair hung down his jaw,
He was a perfect photograph of the folks in Arkansas.
His bread it was so mealy stale it nearly broke my jaw,
I got so thin on sassafrass tea I could hide behind a straw,
And that's what they call vittles down there in Arkansas.
My teeth began to loosen, my knees began to knock.
I said, I've finished working, my salary I asked to draw.
He handed me a coonskin, says, That's currency in Arkansas.
She wept a bucketful of tears the day I said I'd go,
She threw her arms 'round me, she bit me on the jaw,
Sayin', Don't forget your dear old friends out here in Arkansas.
I put my coonskin on the counter, the bartender drew nigh,
He picked it up, he smoothed it down, he rubbed it with his paw.
He handed me a rattlesnake skin, says, That's change in Arkansas.
I won't go back to the canebrake and corn dodger no more.
If you ever see me back again, I'll extend to you my paw,
But it'll have to be through a telescope from Hell to Arkansas.