THE CHIVALROUS SHARK
(learned from Song Fest in the 1960s)
Most chivalrous fish of the ocean,
He dines upon seamen and skippers,
A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher,
I can readily cite you an instance
She struggled and flounced in the water,
He bowed in a manner most polished,
Then he proffered his fin, and she took it,
They stood alongside of the vessel,
They took her aboard in a jiffy,
Thus proving the prince of the ocean,
(from miriam berg's folksong collection)
To ladies forbearing and mild,
Though his record be dark, is the man-eating shark,
Who will eat neither woman nor child.
And tourists his hunger assuage,
And a fresh cabin boy will inspire him with joy
If he's past the maturity age.
He'll gobble one any fine day
But the ladies, God bless 'em, he'll only address 'em
Politely and go on his way.
Where a charming young lady of Bream
Who was tender and sweet, and delicious to eat,
Fell into the bay with a scream.
And signaled in vain for her bark,
And she'd surely have drowned if she hadn't been found
By a chivalrous man-eating shark.
Thus soothing her impulses wild.
Don't be frightened, he said, I've been properly bred,
And will eat neither woman nor child.
Such a gallantry none can dispute.
And the passengers cheered, as the vessel they neared,
And a broadside was fired in salute.
While a life-saving dinghy was lowered,
With the pick of the crew, and her relatives too,
And the mate and the skipper aboard.
The shark at attention the while.
Then he rose on his flipper, and ate up the skipper,
And went on his way with a smile.
To ladies forbearing and mild,
Though his record be dark, is the man-eating shark,
Who will eat neither woman nor child.