THE BALLAD OF HARVEY
(written after seeing the play "Harvey" for the second time in 1995)
There once was a big white rabbit.
Harvey was his name;
He was an invisible rabbit,
Yet he was real just the same.
Only one man could see him.
His name was Elwood P. Dowd.
His family thought he was crazy,
But they didn't say so out loud.
His sister was Vita Simmons;
Her daughter was Myrtle Mae.
They lived together in a big old house
That was their mother's till she passed away.
Now Elwood liked to go drinking,
And Harvey, he came too.
They went everyplace together,
And came back together when they were through.
Now Myrtle Mae and Vita felt stifled,
'Cause no one came to visit them,
Because of that invisible rabbit,
When Elwood introduced them to him.
So one day Vita took her brother
To a place called Chumley's Rest;
It was run by a Doctor Chumley,
A psychiatrist, one of the best.
When the staff listened to her story
They thought she was out of her head
When she talked about the big white rabbit,
So they locked her up instead.
They let Elwood go back to the city,
And he looked for his rabbit friend,
He couldn't find him in the taverns,
Though he searched for hours on end.
When Dr. Chumley heard the story,
"You two are stupid," he said,
"Send Mrs. Simmons back home while I
Go bring Mr. Dowd back here instead."
So the doctor went out looking,
Looking for the rabbit's friend,
But he couldn't find him in the taverns,
Though he searched for hours on end.
When Vita got back to their mansion,
She told Judge Gaffney to sue,
To sue Dr. Chumley for fifty grand,
And to close his place when he was through.
And while they were talking it over,
Dr. Chumley himself walked in,
And he said, "Where is your brother?
I've come to take him back again."
And while they stood there arguing,
Elwood called on the phone right there,
He asked if they'd seen Harvey,
'Cause he couldn't find him anywhere.
Dr. Chumley told her to tell him
That Harvey was upstairs in the tub,
And if he came back quickly,
They could both go out to the pub.
So Vita Simmons told her brother
What Dr. Chumley had said,
But he said that Harvey had just come in,
So it must be some other rabbit instead.
So Dr. Chumley went out looking,
Looking for the rabbit's friend,
And he finally found him in Charlie's Place,
And he sat down there right then.
Meanwhile back at Chumley's asylum
Dr. Sanderson packed to go,
When Elwood Dowd came through the door,
Saying, "It's time for us to go;
"It's time to go to Charlie's Place,
To have a night out on the town."
They asked where Dr. Chumley was,
And they made him sit right down.
They made him tell his story,
How he met Harvey one day,
He saw a rabbit standing by a lamppost,
And then he heard the rabbit say,
"Hello, Mr. Dowd, how are you?"
As he stood there looking down;
This didn't surprise Elwood at all
'Cause everyone knew his name in the town.
So Elwood said, "I don't know your name;
So won't you please tell it to me?"
"What name do you like?" "I like Harvey."
"That's IT," said the rabbit, said he.
Soon Dr. Chumley himself came back,
As nervous as broken glass;
And he sat and talked to Elwood P Dowd
About all that had come to pass.
They'd sat together in the tavern,
Elwood, Harvey, and he;
The doctor couldn't see the rabbit,
But he believed what he did see.
Then he finally persuaded Elwood
To take formula 9-7-7;
Although he'd never see Harvey again,
Except, perhaps, when he went to heaven.
And while they were gettin' him ready,
The cab driver walked right in,
Saying, "Give me my two-seventy-five,
Or you won't get a ride again."
But Vita couldn't find her coin purse,
So she asked Elwood if he would pay;
Elwood said, "Please keep the change,
And won't you come for dinner some day?"
Then the cab driver told them all
What formula 9-7-7 did;
The folks came in like berries and cream
And went out like a cactus instead.
Then Vita changed her feelings,
She wanted her brother the same,
She said that Harvey could live with them,
The invisible rabbit of immortal fame;
The invisible rabbit of immortal fame!
(from miriam berg's folksong collection)