THE QUIZMASTERS
(learned from Sing Out, 1961; song about TV quiz scandals)
A dozen big companies are giving away
Now something for nothing is hard to resist,
You act out your part in a natural way,
Now that you're a liar, the company can choose
You're a national hero wherever you're seen,
Then one day it's over, someone smelled a rat,
Just see how they dig for the messiest smear!
Yes, Congress discovered a long time ago
(from miriam berg's folksong collection)
(To the tune of Sweet Betsy From Pike)
Hundreds and thousands of dollars they say;
They ask you some questions, and someone keeps score,
And they slip you the answers a few days before.
Hoodle dang fol dee di do, hoodle dang fol dee dum,
Come along to the quiz show and join in the fun.
Especially when it will never be missed;
And since you are only an average guy,
You're quite taken in by the size of the lie.
Hoodle dang fol dee di do, etc.
And then our dear sponsor has something to say,
While millions are buying the things that he makes,
You're getting some grease that fried out of his steaks.
Hoodle dang fol dee di do, etc.
The moment its puppet will stumble and lose,
And if you like your job and you don't want the sack,
You'd better give part of the gravy right back.
Hoodle dang fol dee di do, etc.
Your face is on every newspaper and screen,
And just like a saucer of milk for a pup,
Those suckers out watching keep lapping it up,
Hoodle dang fol dee di do, etc.
The bag has been ripped and they've let out the cat,
The companies find out that they're not alone,
For Congress is starting a quiz of its own.
Hoodle dang fol dee di do, etc.
It's the juiciest scandal in many a year;
We were all played for suckers, so why should he pay
When the big shot behind him just slithers away?
Hoodle dang fol dee di do, etc.
The profits concealed in a questioning show;
And Congressman Walter can tell you the tale
About how quizzers get votes and contestants get jail.
Hoodle dang fol dee di do, etc.